Thursday, April 2, 2009


How tedious is a guilty conscious  - John Webster (English writer/playwright 1580-1632)

I don’t know about you, but I have dealt with guilt for many years about not having a “real job”.  These days EVERYBODY has, or used to have, a REAL JOB.  If you didn’t, there must be something wrong with you, or so I thought.  I guess this is why I never pursued any of my art beyond college, even I thought I thoroughly enjoyed it and did well at it (at least my teachers said so).  I convinced myself I wasn’t good enough to make a living at art.

So like many of you, I pursued other options that seemed right at the time, but never really made me happy.

This morning I decided to look up the definiton of guilt: 

1:    the act of having committed a breach of conduct especially violating law and involving a penalty.

2a:  the state of one who has committed an offense especially consciously

2b:  feelings of culpability, especially for imagined offenses or from a sense of inadequacy: self- reproach.

3. a feeling of culpability for offenses.

The only one that comes close to describing me is 2b, so I looked up the definition of self-reproach:

 - a feeling of deep regret (usually for some misdeed)

- the act of blaming yourself

A “guilt trip” is defined as a prolonged feeling of deep regret.

Okay, so maybe I have been on a major guilt trip. But to where and for what?  What misdeed have I done? 

The loss of income?  Would that extra income have made my husband and I happier?  In many ways, no.

For not becoming the successful person I could have become?  It depends on how you define success.  And my life isn’t over, yet.

So I declare myself and anybody else out there who has felt this way, “NOT GUILTY!”

Go work on your art and try your very best to not feel any guilt about it, because you are not doing anything WRONG!  

You are doing something right, creative, and beautiful!




guilt trip


  1. As well, you would never have known the "other side" if you never even tried. I think I would feel guilty if I was stuck for years in a job I despised then taking a leap of faith and trusting in my art.

  2. I have felt the exact same way for years, constant words from my (soon to be) X "If you would just stop playing with your beads & get a "real" job....for 17 years I had a real one & supported him for about 6 of those years, I was not happy in that job...I am not raking in the as of yet...but I never quit my passion, dumped him, his negativity & feel I have built a solid foundation for which this will one day be my "Real Job" & making "Real Money" as well.... Thank you so much for sharing because I still question in the back of my mind when I see him & he says, "so, have you sold anything yet?" Thanks for letting me off my guilt trip & putting me in a place with others have also been & knowing I am not alone & it will happen, when its time! Namaste, Cloudy~Willow

  3. Cloudy,

    For many years I was in a relationship that was very similar to the one you're escaping (good for you!).

    I posted about it a while ago, as one of the major roadblocks that kept me from getting my own jewelry business going successfully.

    Once I removed that negative relationship from my life, my jewelry business (and the rest of my life!) soared.

    I know the same will happen for you. Removing a major negative force from your life does wonders for removing all sorts of blocks.

    And don't listen to his jealous "So, have you sold anything yet?"

    Just feel the joy of your freedom from him, smile confidently and answer something like, "You'd be amazed!" :)

    You don't have to tell him anything. Your creative life is your personal realm.

    I'm so happy to hear you're taking steps to live your life on your own terms! I know you'll do wonderfully.

    Love, Rena